if you ever leave my door open and i have to get up and close it myself just know that’s me closing the door on our relationship forever
if you’re having a bad day here is a baby polar bear being tickled
I needed this
“are you on your period”
why yes, i am bleeding today
would you like to join me
“you wanna see my breasts” i say seductively to my boyfriend. i unbutton my shirt to reveal two large, succulent cuts of meat. i am a chicken. why do i have a boyfriend. why am i wearing clothes
You wanna know what gets me off? What really turns me on? Writing an essay without changing the default size 11 Calibri font with no line spacing, and then changing it to size 12 Times New Roman with double spacing and seeing it grow from 3 to 5 pages. Yeah, that really gets me going.
If you remember
I will personally hand a you a certificate of good childhood taste.
OH MY GOD.