the-robot-condese:

tiny-little-nebula:

taloa-nashoba:

thatthirstyniggafromclass:

misconceptions about strippers. 

pussy preach more sense than the fuckin government.

I want to break necks when people shade strippers. Let’s see your janky ass get out there and look that cute in 6 inch heels for 8 hours, smiling the entire time, stroking egos, pretending a dude’s breath doesn’t smell like a rotten animal.

Truth.

My sister has a Masters in Education. She got a job at one of the poorest schools in the city, but didn’t make enough money to pay to keep her tiny house heated through the Oregon winter or buy enough food or take her dog to the vet (first person who drops the word rehome gets a kick in the face.) so she quit and the only job she could get because she’s “overqualified” to work at Fred Meyers was at a strip club because she minored in ballet. I think people forget that stripping is like any other job: you have to have some experience.

And all those crumpled one dollar bills? 20% of that goes back into the club because strippers are renting the stages they dance on. Sometimes it’s more.

Despite all of that, my sister makes more money than she ever did because she works 80 hour weeks and literally never takes a day off. She teaches classes to drunk white girls, she does private parties, she does entertainment for conferences and shows. 

When I had to go to the ER last February and got a bill for $800 that I couldn’t pay, my sister sent me money so I wouldn’t be sent to collections. 

My sister is the classiest motherfucker in a pair of six inch heels. Anyone who calls her a dumb slut or a hoe gets their shit wrecked.

that’s the best thing i ever just heard get said

detention:

queued~bye.
reblog   source:character-equals-destiny  detention   notes:462496   posted:13 hours ago  

detention:

queued~bye.

puckquinn:

if you ever leave my door open and i have to get up and close it myself just know that’s me closing the door on our relationship forever

reblog   source:although  werenothingbutalive   notes:380839   posted:13 hours ago  

anarcheluxemburg:

tsunderrorist:

if you’re having a bad day here is a baby polar bear being tickled

image

I needed this

overtheunderpass:

“are you on your period”

why yes, i am bleeding today

would you like to join me

image

thernardier:

“you wanna see my breasts” i say seductively to my boyfriend. i unbutton my shirt to reveal two large, succulent cuts of meat. i am a chicken. why do i have a boyfriend. why am i wearing clothes

if i ever get kidnapped: how will i update my blog

You wanna know what gets me off? What really turns me on? Writing an essay without changing the default size 11 Calibri font with no line spacing, and then changing it to size 12 Times New Roman with double spacing and seeing it grow from 3 to 5 pages. Yeah, that really gets me going.

dj-stridenasty:

tumblr at 3am

zooeydeschanel:

Just relaxing…
reblog   notes:2559   posted:13 hours ago  

zooeydeschanel:

Just relaxing…

touchdisky:

Mount Rainier, Washington, USA by Mantis of Destiny
reblog   source:Flickr / mantisofdestiny  trey-is-superman   notes:4258   posted:13 hours ago  

touchdisky:

Mount Rainier, Washington, USA by Mantis of Destiny

my-homestuck-romance:

thefingerlesspianist:

If you remember

image

I will personally hand a you a certificate of good childhood taste.

OH MY GOD.

aimmyarrowshigh:

peggingwithstyles:

lyriciss:

Another confused black man in a white man’s world.

WHY DID NO ONE SAY “ASK”??????

say-shell:

thefunniestpost:

heyfunniest:

my life is complete

Hysterical!

#NO THEFUNNIESTPOST DOT TUMBLR DOT COM #THIS IS NOT HYSTERICAL #THIS IS HOW A MOTHERFUCKING FAN WORKS #THERE IS NOTHING HYSTERICAL ABOUT MECHANICAL ENGINEERING FUCKNUGGET 
reblog   source:cineraria  fearlesslywaiting   notes:50927   posted:13 hours ago  

say-shell:

thefunniestpost:

heyfunniest:

my life is complete

Hysterical!

#NO THEFUNNIESTPOST DOT TUMBLR DOT COM #THIS IS NOT HYSTERICAL #THIS IS HOW A MOTHERFUCKING FAN WORKS #THERE IS NOTHING HYSTERICAL ABOUT MECHANICAL ENGINEERING FUCKNUGGET 

info

why hello there stranger. my name is cathy. i'm 19 years old and i'm lost and often confused in the adventure that is my life. care to join me? :)